The Seduction of Eric Forman
by twiniitowers
Summary: Eric finds the love of his life...with a twist. Please read and review. Not to be confused with Marla Lost's story entitled "Eric's Seduction" - I apologize for using a similar title, but go read her stories, they're really good.
1. Meeting Jamie

_**The Seduction of Eric Forman**_

…**Eric gets a 40****th**** birthday present that he doesn't expect**

**Extremely AU**

**Show canon stops at around season 5.**

**(character childhood canon is independent of that)**

**Chapter 1 **

**Meeting Jamie**

**Comic-Con in San Diego**

Eric Forman had spent what he felt was too much money on yet another _Star Wars _comic book that someone

was lucky enough to get Sir Alec Guinness to sign. He washed his hands in the restroom bathroom of the Omni

Hotel. He could sell it on Ebay or he could keep it in one of his storage boxes in the bank. He never did get to

marry his high-school sweetheart, Donna. Infact, he was single, just a path of broken hearts, no kid's. He

always wore a condom to make sure there wouldn't be any surprise children from women trying to come back

into the fold. He was alone and he hated it. Eric Forman was just an average guy, who lived in Madison, worked

9-5 at 1st Midwestern Bank, and understood what middle-aged or close to it disappointment felt like. He didn't

know where most of his friends were, it was true, no one kept in touch, it was such a lie. Even with the internet.

Donna was online and he could read all of her feminist rants on how men sucked. It was so one sided. Men

could be good single fathers, not all men were scum. She was so biased in her writing, yet she was praised for

it. The only person he saw regularly was Jackie. She owned this Happy Trails Restaurant in San Diego and that's

how he got advance notice on the hotel rooms being available for comic con.

Jackie was close to Red and Kitty, grateful for all of their help that she would sometimes join him for the trek

down to Miami Beach where they did eventually retire. Kitty thought Laurie should have the house. Eric thought

she lost her mind.

What could he do about it?

He lived in Madison like he was supposed to with Donna and he didn't really want to look out of his

bedroom window in Point Place to see the Pinciotti house. Eric had no idea what happened to Hyde, Kelso, or

Fez. The internet was only as good as people putting their information on it. He smirked at his reflection in the

mirror, Harrison Ford he wasn't, but just one year he wanted to be Han instead of Luke Skywalker, not that he

was Mark Hamill, but at least he looked somewhat better in his all-black _Return of the Jedi_ face-off with Darth

Vader and Emperor Palpatine costume. Still he wished there was a woman out there for him. Not just anyone.

He wanted his quote unquote soulmate. If you can shape your own destiny, then maybe the same was true

with romance.

Maybe, it wasn't all in the stars. He couldn't go out to eat looking like a poor man's Han Solo, he had to change

into a black polo shirt and jeans. Maybe, he'd see Jackie at the restaurant and they could eat together. She

didn't have the best luck in the romance department either. It wasn't long after Jackie and Hyde got together

that they fizzled out, they tried making up after breaking up, but Hyde just woke up one morning, wrote a thank

you note to his Mother, and they haven't known of his whereabouts for 20 years. Even with the internet at their

disposal.

Who'd have thought Eric Forman's only constant would be Jackie? She wasn't married, had no boyfriend to

speak of and she had no children. Eric and Jackie did spend a boozy, hazy weekend together in the summer of

'83, but they mutually agreed to be friends as it took them a long time to get to that point. Eric went back into a

stall to change into his spare clothes that he kept in his duffle bag.

"Happy Trails to you! How may I help you?"

"Shouldn't you say happy trails at the end? Like Roy and Dale? Jackie, it's me."

"It's my restaurant. I can do what I want, ha ha! Hi, Eric. How are you?"

"I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I am bored out of my mind. How long are you staying at the

restaurant?"

"Until closing because I have to do paperwork. The special is roast beef, mashed potatoes with gravy, carrots,

and for you – the last slice of carrot cake – your Mother's recipe. Come in the private entrance."

"Thanks, Jackie. Who'd have thought we'd be the friends?"

"You finally came to your senses and realized having me in your life was a good thing!

See you soon."

"Bye."

He liked their friendship.

* * *

Jackie looked at her face in her compact mirror. She was going to stay 39 forever, no 40 for her. No one had to

to know her real age and if Eric revealed it she wouldn't give him any more free meals. Her multilined phone

rang. It was the hostess podium on line 1.

"Yes, Cindy?"

"Jamie, is here with your order."

Jamie Reed from Casablanca Cosmetics. Jackie didn't know much about the brunette beauty, but she was about

she was quiet almost, her eyes were aquamarine. Jackie was always eager to help a fellow businesswoman

out.

"Send her in…"

"Hello, Jackie," There was always something comforting in the way that Jamie said 'hello, Jackie' in a lilted voice,

if she swung that way, and no other woman made her feel this way, _she would so have bedded this woman_.

"Your order is in."

"Hi, Jamie. Thank you. Your check is in the ceramic owl," then Jackie had an idea, "Have you eaten yet, hon?"

"Not yet."

"Stay for awhile while I try on the new lip gloss palate that you sold me." There was something right about this

woman, the way she wore her skirts, knew how to accessorize with scarves, and the right shoes.

It was like she learned from her, which was impossible since she didn't know Jamie until she moved to San

Diego.

"What's the special?"

"Roast beef and the carrot cake recipe that I got from my friend's Mom…." Yeah, she could picture Jamie and Eric

together! Okay, she'd have split Eric's piece in half, but it would be more romantic that way.

"How about the carrot cake and a coffee?"

"Deal…"

Her phone rang again…the private entrance must have been locked. _It was perfect timing._

"Come in, Eric."

Jackie wondered why Jamie was backing towards the door when she didn't even get her carrot cake and coffee

yet?

"I forgot that I have to make a delivery to that snot who runs the school board."

"Nonsense, Jamie. Stay for the cake. It's only my friend from high school Eric. You just might like him."

"Okay." She sighed

"Jackie, why was the private door locked? You know I don't like that Cindy…she keeps hitting on me," Eric

realized that there was someone else in the room. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company."

_And beautiful company at that._

"Eric, this is Jamie, my cosmetics connection, but…. what happens when you get your bachelor's degree?"

"Nice to meet you, Eric." She extended her hand; "I'll still be doing this on side, apparently you never had

student loans."

"I have…Jackie's sweet, but she has no clue on the financial realities of the other lower classes."

"That's it," She smiled though, they a little bond, it was so cute, "I was going to split it, but Jamie gets the

the whole slice. I'll be back. Eric, be a doll, or action figure…why don't you two go into the private dining room?"

"So," Eric decided to start the conversation as they walked out of Jackie's office and into the blue room. "What's

your major in?"

"What was yours?" Jamie asked first making sure they sat at the booth that way there'd be no chivalry with Eric

trying to pull out her chair.

"Accounting."

"Education."

Eric could sense this undercurrent of tension, it wasn't like Jamie didn't like him, it was like Jamie was afraid to

talk to him. Eric thought he was a sweet guy no matter what crap Donna said or wrote about him.

"Here you are…are you sure you don't want dinner, Jamie?"

"No. Just the cake, Jackie."

"Your coffee will be up shortly. I had to teach the new girl how to make it, if you can believe it. What did you

want to drink, Eric?"

"Just a diet soda. Don't want to be buzzed on my flight…"

"Flight?" Jamie questioned

"Yeah, I work in Madison, Wisconsin. I was just in for Comic Con, but I have to go back to work on Monday."

"Oh," Jamie almost burnt her tongue on the hot coffee. "It was nice meeting you, Eric. Jackie, I really need to get

going…. I left you some new skin care samples…"

Jackie didn't buy this for a second. She knew about relationships and she knew about people who ran away

from them.

"I must be something to make a woman run away after talking to me," He faintly looked at his black Timex, "for

five minutes. A new Forman record."

"I know in today's day and age I shouldn't do this…but I think it'll be okay if I do…I'll be right back."

**5 Minutes Later**

Jackie handed Eric Forman a cosmetic catalog with an address stamped on the back

**J. Reed**

**10 Royal Place Apt. 4B**

**San Diego, CA  
**

**92101**

**Casablanca Cosmetics Consultant on the web under JReed**

"You want me to chase after this woman?"

"Yeah…I've known Jamie for a few years, but I don't know much about her, except that she'd be perfect for

you…. so yeah. If she gets mad tell her I gave you her address."

"I don't know, Jackie. I seemed to scare her off."

"No…I think she was afraid to get to you know you…. Go for it, Forman."

* * *

Damn it. There wasn't a wine bottle big enough to make her forget this night. She wondered if she had any

cocaine left since she tried it in '84, but didn't want to fuck up the life that she took great care and caution to

build. She took off her clothes and was ready to step foot into a hot shower when the buzzer rang. It could be

the set of records that she ordered. She slipped on her pink zip-up robe and went to do the door, her bare feet

cold on the tile.

It was Eric Forman. Jackie! That woman could never quit interfering in things that were none of her concern. But

he did look handsome with his hair windblown and his twitchiness about to rise to the surface because he

thought he did something wrong.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Jamie. Jackie just…."

**Fuck it.**

She put her arms around Eric Forman and pulled him to close to what she hoped was the best kiss of both their

lives.

Jamie hoped he felt the same way, yet she hoped that he didn't feel the same way, this was long overdue, he

was Eric Forman of Point Place the man she loved ever since she was twelve years old.

It was a shameful secret then and it was a burden to carry now.

Yes, she wanted him to feel the same way.

**_Eric Forman was all she ever wanted. _**


	2. The Best Kisses Ever

**Chapter 2**

**The Best Kisses Ever**

Wow!

Eric had no idea who this woman who he didn't even know for 24 hours yet kissed him with such a passion that

Donna, his so-called "the one" never did. Holy shit. His father raised him to be respectful to women and the

threat of senior citizen foot in his ass was always a possibility that he knew he couldn't do the one night stand

thing. Eric was never about that anyway. It was certainly better when you loved the one that you were

with, but he didn't even know this Miss Jamie Reed. He wanted to though.

"That was some kiss, quite possibly my best kiss ever." He said

She smiled. "Eric, what time does your flight leave?"

"Would you like to go back to my hotel room?"

"Excuse me?" She pretended to feign shock. He was so adorable when he was nervous and twitchy over

things that were minuscule.

"No..I didn't mean it like that…I just meant we could get to know each other a bit, and I can pack my bags.

I was going to check out early. Comic-Con isn't doing it for me these days."

Jamie thought about it. It was a twist of lemon that Eric was brought back into her life, this was what she

denied herself for all these years, but now that things were settled they could be in each other's lives. After

all Jackie was and if she had known anything she'd have certainly taken her up to task.

"I need to change…" How embarrassing to be seen in a robe.

"You will?"

"Why are you surprised?"

"Women don't usually like me…. or they do for a while and then I scare them off."

Poor Eric. He still had a little bit of self-loathing. Damn you, Donna Pinciotti, you left just as many scars as

Red, but at least, he loved him.

"I think you are worth knowing." Jamie had the script in her head for years. How it would go, if it would go

anywhere, if she would be able to. Now here was Eric Forman standing in her doorway. She motioned for him to

come in.

"Thank you. You too."

"Why don't you grab yourself a drink out of the fridge? I'll be with you in a moment."

She winked.

"Okay."

Eric wasn't thirsty, but he had to walk around to get the feelings back in his legs. That was like the best kiss of

his 39 year old life. His birthday was next month. He noticed the simple white refrigerator in the center of the

kitchen. There was a Casablanca Cosmetics mini dry erase board with a grocery list. Jamie's house seemed to

have no individuality. There was a small stereo next to the white sofa and a stack of albums but they could've

been anyone's albums. Everyone in his age group liked the same kind of bands for the most part. Still she

wasn't plain. She was a stunning beauty with long brunette hair and oceanic eyes. He brought his hand to his

lips, he knew those lips belonged locked in his. _But something wasn't right._ He picked up the _People _magazine off

the coffee table. _Yet, it was all right._ It most certainly was when Jamie reappeared wearing designer jeans,

strappy sandals, and a silky flowy blouse in purple. Jackie was friends with her? Jamie seemed like the kind of

woman that Jackie would have despised.

Of course, Jackie was grown-up like him, maybe she didn't need hate women who were prettier than she.

"You're stunning." Eric said, his eyes focused on the stack of swishy golden bangles on her wrist.

"Thank you, Eric."

"Let me tell me you, pretty lady, you're going to make it very difficult to go back to Wisconsin."

Jamie smiled, "So don't go…"

Someone please teach that man how to take a risk!

* * *

Jamie let herself relax; this was the man that she always wanted, would the life they deserved be that far

behind? He was here. She was new. So let it be as such. The pendulum swung into a whole other direction the

only way they could go was forward.

Eric drove the rental black Toyota and wished it was a cool sports car – a pretty woman like this should be

driven around in a silver Porsche or red Ferrari.

"Maybe you can come to Wisconsin."

If only he knew!

"I'm still in school remember…?"

"So, Jamie, why if you don't mind me asking why so long in getting your Bachelor's? I mean I know there's no

age limit and college can be filled with people from ages 17 to 99 and of course the rare genius kids. If I

offended…I'm sorry."

"No worries, Eric. It just wasn't the time for me to go to school at the so-called normal age. Now is the time for

me."

Well, that was kind of vague, but when she put her hand on his knee, he felt he could accidentally ram this

rental car into a tree. Her touch was so electric.

"Where are you from?" Eric asked

Jamie sighed, he was asking all the right questions. The-getting-to-know-you kind of questions, that there could

be no anger at him, he was doing everything correctly.

"Racine."

"So you _ARE_ from Wisconsin?" It was the story before Eric showed up at Jackie's restaurant; it still had to be the

tale now.

"Where are you from?" As if she didn't know his whole life story or at least most of it.

"Point Place, Wisconsin." Jamie was beautiful, but there seemed to be something in the undercurrent that had

Eric wanting to turn the car around and send her back to her little apartment. Yet, that little voice on his

shoulder nudged him to keep on driving. She was a unique woman for certain.

"What was life like?" She asked

"What was your life like?" No. He wanted her to tell him something about herself.

"That's fair. Eric, I'm sorry. Not all of us had great childhoods."

Something that he should've been fucking aware of.

"Oh," Eric looked straight ahead before turning off the exit that took them to the Omni Hotel, "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. I'm where I need to be in my life."

"Well, my Mom was a RN and my Dad worked in manufacturing. He was a supervisor at the auto plant, but when

the jobs got sent to Mexico, he became a manager at a Wal-Mart type of store called Price Mart. Again, Jamie,

I'm sorry…. I should've known better, I've had friends that had terrible childhoods. I guess I like to focus on the

positive parts of life."

Jamie stroked his knee. "It's okay, Eric. I'm just glad that you're here."

Eric had a feeling that there was going to be no turning back with this woman.

* * *

Eric told the woman at the front desk that he would be checking out, he just needed to go up to his room to

pack his bags. Jamie watched him whip out of his credit card and sign some forms.

"Sorry about that…"

"No problem, Eric."

"After I pack my things, would you like to go out to dinner?"

"Sure," She sighed. It felt wonderful to sigh and, "That sounds lovely."

* * *

_**Flashback**_

_**1975**_

_The lipstick was Cheryl Tiegs and Christie Brinkley approved. It was called Boogie Woogie Pink. Getting caught was not_

_ an option, stupid are the people who don't lock their doors and put their shades down. The blouse was pink and from _

_Halverson's on the sale rack, but still beautiful. The mid-length skirt was denim and pantyhose were the Devil, _

_obviously a product invented by men. The pumps were pink with a tiny silver heart buckle. Twisting the lipstick bullet _

_up the application was put on with a steady, yet shameful hand. The headband was one of those fake tortoise ones _

_from Goody. Walking to the mirror and looking at the results of an evening alone, a tear fell down the cheek. Damn. _

_Not pretty. Not pretty at all. More tears came with the thoughts of suicide. How many more years until the process _

_could start? The blouse was ripped open and all of the pretty faux pearl buttons flew in the air. Jamie wanted to be _

_pretty…and real….for Eric…Forman…the man she loved._

_**End flashback**_

"Jamie," Eric waved his hand over her face, "Jamie, are you all right?"

"Yes," Why did her mind go there? That time was in the past. "You were asking?"

"What restaurant would you like to go to?" Eric zipped up his navy blue suitcase and Jamie internally beat

herself up over thinking about that time.

"Wherever you would like to go."

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yes. Why don't we go out for Chinese and see if we're hungry half an hour later?"

Eric laughed, "That sounds good."

Eric put his arms around her waist and pulled her close, "I can't wait for the end of the evening…I would like to

kiss you right now?"

"Then why are you talking?"

"Good point…. now it's my turn to give you a wow kiss m'lady…"

Who needed to go out for dinner when Eric Forman was kissing her on the lips in such a fashion? He was every

girl's dream. Well, he was this girl's dream.

"Hmm…no, Mr. Forman," she put her hands on his shoulders, "this was quite possibly the best kiss ever…."

Eric smiled, "you're adorable, Jamie. Let me grab my suitcase and we'll blow this popsicle stand."

Jamie didn't want to think of Eric leaving to go back to his mundane bank job in Wisconsin. The long distance

part was the least of it. How were they going to make this work?

She tossed back her hair. "Sounds good to me."

* * *

Eric still couldn't use chopsticks it was the first time Jamie allowed herself to really laugh in his presence.

"Just use the fork, Eric…"

"Use the fork," Eric did his bad Obi-Wan impersonation, "Use the fork, Eric…"

"You're funny…and drop dead gorgeous, but don't let that go to your head…Do you want the rest of my shrimp?

I think I'd like to have a consultation with the fortune cookie." Jamie reached for the cookie that was wrapped in

protective plastic.

"I don't think they're very scientific…"

"Be quiet, Eric," She cracked the cookie open and pulled out the paper, who said the universe didn't have a

fucking sense of humor. "Um." She said

"Well, don't leave me in the dark," Eric said, "What does the fortune cookie tell you?"

_"To be true to oneself."_

And like Obi-Wan once said that the truths one clung to depended greatly on one's point of view.

* * *

**Author's Note: Thanks to Marla encouraging me to put the second chapter up. **


	3. A Threat of the Jackie Kind

**Chapter 3**

**A Threat of the Jackie Kind**

Fuck.

This came with the territory, but Jackie was never at Jamie's house, maybe on the porch to pick up her cosmetics

order when she had a flu/fever and couldn't get out of bed. But in her actual house, damn. Because she wanted

to bond over her private relationship with Eric Forman as if it were her business. It wasn't. Even if she was

friend with him, it wasn't her business. Jesus H. Christ. There were many things to worry about; Jackie Burkhart

and her nosiness didn't need to be one of them. Still she was about to write a check for $150.00 to give her

staff some Casablanca Cosmetics gift bags. Jamie came in with a tray of lemonade and placed it on the end

table.

"I don't think you came here just to order make-up goodies."

"Well," Jackie gushed, "Eric speaks very highly of you! I knew you two would be great together."

"Jackie," She said in that tone that Jackie found sexy there was something about the way she said

her name, "don't take this the wrong way…my relationship with Eric is private."

"I didn't mean any harm." The lemonade almost went down the wrong pipe.

"I know. I do care for him, you care for him, so why can't we just drop it?"

"I'm sorry, Jamie," Jackie tore her check with the pastel kittens and rainbows design from her checkbook, "I

didn't mean anything bad by asking…"

"It's all right. So, he told you everything…"

"I think it's cute that you sent him a Hello Kitty card."

"I suppose if I plan Eric's birthday party, _I have to_ invite you…." Jamie didn't mean to twist her face, Jackie was a

nice person, and this was new and yet old and fuck her tone said that she wasn't welcome. "_you can _come…"

Jackie stood up, "Apparently, this is a problem for you, Jamie. I don't think I want you to be my Casablanca rep

anymore, but since I promised my staff those gift bags, consider that your last order…Eric's one of my oldest

friends and if you think I'm some kind of threat and you're jealous of me, well….I'll just go. Bye, Jamie…but if you

hurt him, I'll be back to kick your ass."

"Jack-" Too late. You don't ruin a woman's exit when she's in the middle of a stomp and cry.

Jamie knew that Jackie would be phoning her best friend Eric about Jamie the strange girl who made Jackie

storm out of her house.

Damn.

The only thing she could do was sit in the chair and drink her lemonade. She was going to have to phone Eric

later on and not for the budding romance between them reason. But to cover her tracks. No one said this was

going to be easy.

She knew that.

* * *

An interesting thing happened between when Jackie threatened to kick Jamie's ass if she hurt Eric and dialing

Eric's phone number three hours later. She wondered why her boyfriend didn't call her! Surely, he must have

had something to say about it. Jackie Burkhart didn't need to be a part of this.

"Hi, Eric," Jamie took a deep breath, "I suppose Jackie told you about our little tiff…"

"No, she didn't." Well that explained the no phone call, "What happened, Jamie?"

"She thinks I'm going to hurt you and she said she was going to kick my ass. I'm not going to hurt you…I just

think our relationship should be private."

"We have a relationship?"

That hurt.

What happened to the best kisses ever and three hour phone calls? This wasn't a relationship? "I

guess we don't, if you have ask the question, fuck you, Eric." Jamie slammed down the phone, she picked it up a

few seconds later to make sure he hung up, and then unplugged the cord from the wall and went to kitchen to

get the pint of chocolate chocolate chip ice-cream and to have a good cry in the bedroom.

She was almost tempted to call him back and tell Eric the whole truth. He'd never understand it, and Jackie did

what she was best at it – cause trouble.

* * *

After her ice-cream cry Jamie decided to clean out her purse. She took her social security card out of front slot in

her wallet _Jamie Katherine Reed_ and stared at it before placing it back in its proper place. She had the fortune

from her and Eric's Chinese restaurant date, yeah be true to one's self all right. She slid out her driver's license.

_Jamie Katherine Reed, 5'8", Eyes: Blue Hair: Brown_ - issued from the state of California. She was in California

first, it wasn't her fault that Jackie came here and had some epiphany and the sudden love of the Pacific Ocean.

_She came to California first. She knew Eric Forman first._ He was all she ever wanted, but maybe that was better

left to fantasy. It's not like she could've had him then! It would have been the real lie. There was the folded over

picture taken at school why this wasn't in her lockbox in top shelf in her closet was beyond her. It was Eric's

wallet sized official school picture from the 7th grade. He wrote in pretty sloppy writing, _Stay cool. _After that he

was too old to be giving pictures to all of his friends, wonder who taught him that? _  
_

She couldn't deal with it so she just shoved everything back in her purse. It would be better to check her mail.

In an age where people didn't write many letters Jamie was surprised to see an actual snail-mail letter to her.

From a person who knew exactly what this life was like.

_Dear Jamie,_

_How's your life going? That's a loaded question I'm sure. I admire you for going the distance; some of us don't reach _

_the pinnacle. _

_My money stopped and since we have a crappy healthcare system in this country, I want to die. I look like a circus _

_freak. I can disguise it, but I don't want to disguise it. I want to move forward and finish it. _

_Did you ever talk to your Eric? _

_I think the only way one can find true happiness is that if you want someone from your former life, you have to be _

_honest with them. Otherwise, you are lying to them. They need to know. You don't have to worry about me _

_committing suicide, I won't, I'm too chicken and too full of Catholic guilt. I just wanted you to know I'm living with my_

_ brother-in-law and my sister. You always said I could write you. So I am. _

_Best Wishes, I'll try to be more positive next time,  
_

_Monica. _

* * *

Wow. Talk about a cold splash of water in the face. Jamie would have to write Monica back. The suicide rates

were too high and since they were labeled into the general community at large the numbers were astronomical.

But she needed to do something first.

"Please answer….Eric…fuck machine…Eric, it's me Jamie, I'm sorry. I just wanted to have a private relationship

with you, but I realize you have friends of your own…and I thought Jackie was my friend….but sometimes it

would be best if she wasn't. Not if I'm going to be with you…it hurt me that you didn't see us in a starting

relationship phase. What do you call it then? All of this started over wanting to plan a birthday party for you. I

think it's best _if we don't _have a relationship…bye, Eric, you'll never know how much I love you…" Was that too

much of a reveal? Jamie didn't care at the moment, "I love you, Eric more than you will know or even begin to

understand…at least I got to kiss you. Have a happy birthday…"

Jamie unplugged her phone from the wall again.

She could never have a relationship with Eric…what was she thinking? She thought of her former life, but given

the choice, she had no regrets over herself as a person. Monica was wrong. She didn't reach the pinnacle, if

reaching the pinnacle meant you saw the inside of more hospitals and clinics and completed everything in that

world then yeah that was it.

To Jamie the summit was having a relationship with the person she wanted most in this world. She was foolish

to think it would have worked. She knew Eric was friends with Jackie, but she had no idea he was in town or

that Comic-Con was even going on. If she had she never would have shown up at the restaurant with Jackie's

cosmetics order.

She just would have parked her custom bubble gum painted pink Trans-Am across the street and tried to catch

a glimpse of the man she couldn't have.

Damn it.

But she needed to be able to talk someone, she wondered if she could confide in another old friend?

It was a risk, but Jamie Reed went this far, she might as well go the rest of the way.


	4. In Today's World You Never Know…

**Chapter 4**

**In Today's World You Never Know…**

Jackie hung up her pink phone that was designed to look like a rotary style like the one she used to have in

her bedroom when she was a teenager. She had just spent the last 3 hours talking to Eric on the phone

reassuring him that it was for the best if this Jamie "broke-up" a non-existent relationship. There was something

strange about her and Jackie felt awful for trying to play matchmaker looking back on it she didn't know Jamie

personally she was just her cosmetics rep. It's not like they knew each other. Her doorbell rang and she had to

get out of her nice warm covers to answer it. She looked through the hotel-style peephole in the center of the

door. _Oh, she had to be kidding!_ Jackie noticed the pink and purple Casablanca Cosmetics box. She could get

through this.

"Jamie…."

"Here is your _final_ order." Tempting as it was to just throw it down on her dark amethyst pedicure, but

determined to get the last word Jamie spoke, "Now you don't have to worry about kicking my ass. I ended it

with Eric."

"There was nothing to end…." Jackie took the box out of her hands.

"You never realize the trouble you cause. I do love Eric, I always will, and this is really none of your business."

"What trouble have I caused?"

"If only….you think you know me. Here's a newsflash for you, Sweetie. You never did. You are still as spoiled

and self-absorbed as ever."

She could have this argument right here on the front porch. But she couldn't waste time fighting with Jackie

Beulah Burkhart. She had an appointment and didn't want to be late for it.

"Just fucking stay away from me and Eric, _you freak…"_

That phrase always stung and she didn't even know the half of it. Jamie took a deep breath with the

knowledge that she had that neither Jackie or Eric possessed. It was time to just turn around and walk

away from the danger source. The ironic thing was Jamie was enjoying her girly friendship with the equally

girly Jackie. It was like having your heart broken twice. Jamie couldn't have Eric Forman as a boyfriend or Jackie

Burkhart as her friend.

It really sucked.

* * *

The red-haired woman sat in the restaurant in the hotel that she was staying at. If she didn't hear it and the

contents of the three hour phone call, she wouldn't have believed it. It just went to show that you really don't

know people, even those that are your best friends. She had her hands around the warm cup of tea. She never

knew anyone who went through this.

_Until Now._

She was hesitant to call it a disorder, being gay used to be considered a disorder in the ICD-9 as if it was a

disease, which wasn't true. She checked some books out of the library back home in Chicago and she instantly

felt guilty that she couldn't spot the signs, the time they grew up in wasn't kind on homosexuality, which Jamie

wasn't, but something that was equally taboo. A request to fax her a picture was declined she wanted to see

her in person.

"Donna Pinciotti…." She looked up amazed at the woman in front of her. "Hi…"

Donna stood up knowing to be careful of the words she chose in public, "Hello, Jamie. Hug?"

"Of course…I could use one!"

Donna kissed Jamie's baby soft cheek, "if I say I wish you told me…. I'm going to sound like one big cliché aren't

I?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm going to need something stronger than tea…."

"I don't know what we should talk about first?" It was different seeing her in person.

"Are you mad that I am in love with Eric? _It's not like I could really have him_…." Jamie started

"I love Eric like a friend, but a friend I shouldn't spend time with because all it does is turn into an argument so

I've been avoiding him for years. How is he?"

The waitress came by and overturned the white china cup to fill it with coffee for Jamie and not the weak stuff

with the orange top.

"He works in a bank, is still a _Star Wars_, Sci-Fi obsessed geek, but I don't think that's what you mean." Jamie put

in 2 blue sugar packets in the coffee and didn't bother with the cream.

"Do I have your permission to write about you? I'll fictionalize it…."

"If you need to, in fact, it might inspire some kid or teenager to realize they aren't alone so yes, write an article.

But I am curious about something. Did you come all this way from Chicago for 'a scoop' or did you come as my

friend?"

"Jamie," Donna reached for her hand, "_I am your friend._ I come across as such a bitch don't I?"

"You know I was quite pleased when I had my first real bitch insult. Some driver on the highway cut me off and

called me a bitch from their window. That's when I knew at least the physical part was a success."

"Why don't you just tell Eric _the truth_?"

"Donna, are you on crack?" Jamie opened the menu.

"You might have no choice if you want to have a relationship with him…"

"Well, I broke that off…and telling Eric means telling Jackie. They're BFF's. Who knew?"

"They're cautious because they don't know the truth. _Your truth_. Maybe you need to tell them…I mean, they

won't broadcast it, so it's not like you won't be safe."

"Donna," Jamie put the menu down, "Don't you think I want to? Don't you think I've thought about it? If you

think this is complicated, telling them the truth would be complication times infinity. Right now, I'm the strange

girl, the one Jackie never knew who bought cosmetics off me, the one Eric had the best kisses with, but in

today's world you never know…I could be a cold-blooded killer, a manipulator who wants money, whatever evil

they want to label it. You know what I liked?"

Donna was content to let her speak, "What?"

"On those rare occasions, back then, really back then…when I could hug Eric and it was acceptable. I thought of

kissing him then, many times. But then he'd think I was gay _and I'm not gay_." And a lot of people in her position

live that lie. Yes, you were gay if you always were attracted to the same sex to begin with.

Jamie was a woman, attracted to a man, one man in particular, therefore, not gay.

"Wow. I don't mean sound like you are an exhibit in a museum, Jamie. This is new to me. I saw specials on cable

every now and then, but never knew anyone…really, I want to write an article about you…_my friend_…. we'll even

publish it in a non-profit publication, least you think I want to make money off your pain."

Jamie smiled, "Thank you, Donna. You've been a breath of fresh air. How about we order lunch and talk about

anything other than this 1—_mumble—mumble _hundred pound elephant in the room?"

"Sounds good. I should've been a better friend to all of you. Maybe, I could've helped. Where were you when I

returned his promise ring?"

"Crass as it's going to sound, happy…not happy that you guys were in pain, but much pleased that you two

were broken up. It was much easier to fantasize about Eric that way."

Donna nodded, "Hmm. The chicken walnut salad sounds pretty good…." She had the information in her hands,

the question was, what good could she do with this knowledge?

After all knowledge was supposed to be power. Should she backstab Jamie and tell Eric behind her back?

No, a real friend and respected writer keeps confidences.

She just wanted everyone to be happy.


	5. Wisconsin Soil

**Chapter 5**

**Wisconsin Soil**

The sun staying out longer while Jamie wondered what she was doing sitting at sidewalk café in Madison

drinking an iced tea waiting for Eric's shift to end at the bank. She wouldn't like this behavior if it were reversed.

It really was stalking, but there were no classes until later on in the week, selling cosmetics could wait. It was

so surreal stepping foot on Wisconsin soil again. Jamie never thought she'd be back here again. At least it

wasn't Point Place. It would have been very difficult to keep up one's façade in the town they were born in. It

was nice to reconnect with Donna after all these years and she was the one who provided the nudge that had

Jamie in Point Place to begin with. There was Eric. Eric Forman who could put real butterflies in her stomach, well

that might have had something to do with the hormones. Normally, she loved the up and down moods that

made the female form beautiful, but now was not the time for nervousness. Now she wished she could hide her

eyes, cross her arms, and grunt at the world. She thought it was funny, if he worked in the bank, why did he

need to use the ATM outside? That was the goofy side of Eric that she so missed.

"Hi, Eric…."

"Jamie?" He didn't turn around as he waited for his $20 to come out of the machine.

"I would really like a chance to explain."

Eric took his wallet out of his navy blue blazer and put the $20 plus the paper receipt in it before returning it

back to his inside jacket pocket.

"Just go back to California…"

"Please, can't we just go somewhere and talk? I was having an iced tea across the street and they didn't even

clean off my table yet…"

"What? Are you stalking me now?"

"No! Forget it…. the fantasy in my mind was better than this crap. You were supposed to the be perk of all of

this, the cherry on top of it. I never thought we'd have a chance, and we didn't even get one because Jackie

has to _always _stick her little nose in where it doesn't belong."

She turned her back on him and went back to her table across the street. Donna didn't fully understand, it was

so complicated. Every instinct she had was turned on its head.

Eric was ready to get into his beige Honda when he had to look across the street and damn it when

she dotted her eyes with a napkin, he felt he needed to go over.

"Okay," he pulled out the metal chair with the heart shaped back, "You have five minutes."

Five minutes. What a fucking joke. She couldn't tell it all in five years, _and she wouldn't tell it all_. As much as she

wanted to. But she needed to tell the man with the most gorgeous shade of green eyes she had ever known

something.

_He deserved that._

"Forgot about Jackie for a moment," she took a polite sip of her iced tea, "I never knew you were going to

be in her restaurant. If I had known, I wouldn't have delivered her order then. Because I never thought I'd

ever see you again."

Eric flagged down the waitress for a soda. "I never met you…so there better be more to this story…"

"We," fuck, okay, it was something. "We went to school together." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth

either. There were safety in numbers.

"So, you had a crush on me? Why does it seem like there's so much that you're leaving out?"

"Because we all deserve our privacy. Did you stop to think that I don't want Jackie knowing it? And she was a

good friend, or as much of a friend that I let her to be. When you said we didn't have a relationship that really

hurt me and then…well, I'd rather not rehash it."

She still was beautiful no doubt about it.

"Personally, I think you are a little loony."

She tried not to get offended. "I'm not anything negative that you are thinking. Why can't we just go out while

I'm in town? _Forget about whatever IT is and just focus on us_?"

Eric sighed, "Okay. Well, I'm starving, so let's just order something to eat here. Separate checks?"

"Fine."

He could be such a fucking dillhole.

_It wasn't fine, but at least it was another date with Eric._

* * *

Eric asked the waitress to wrap up the other half of his steak and cheese sub in a doggie bag and Jamie

couldn't keep anything down other than the house chicken noodle soup. The success stories of people like her

getting romance from their other life were low percentages. What made Jamie think Eric would be different?

They kept the conversation to small talk, but Jamie was pleasantly surprised when Eric asked her to come to

his apartment "to talk". Of course, Eric wanted "to talk" he always did. He wanted answers to everything.

Jamie couldn't provide all of the answers. But hoped that she could say_ just enough _for him to remain interested.

She had to giggle internally imagine telling him that Donna Pinciotti, their friend, knew her secret and was going

to write an article about it for a non-profit group!

_If only…_

"I had a nice dinner with you…"

"You didn't eat much." Eric stated

"I was nervous. You have no idea on how difficult this is."

"If you have liked me for _years. _Why is talking to me so difficult for you?" Jamie was miffed that he didn't open

her car door for her. He was drawing a line in the mythological sand. Of course, he had to create boundaries she

could be dangerous.

She watched him grip the steering wheel tighter.

"Because, it just is. We all have our secrets. Personal secrets. Did you ever stop to think about that?"

"Is it your parents?"

Jamie didn't want to lie. Not to Eric Forman who was just looking for something acceptable in his mind to hold

onto.

"That's part of it." That wasn't really a fib. Jamie had awful biological parents, but this was not a factor in

determining who she was. You could come from any soci-economic background. You could have the most

supportive parents in the world and Jamie wished that were her case. Luckily her parents were gone by the

time she was able to move forward with her true life.

"Well, I'm sorry about that," Eric rolled down his window for some air, "My Mom was overprotective and my

Father thought everything I did was dumb….and that I was a dumbass. But all in all, they're good people and I

can't complain, especially if you tell me that your Mom and Dad beat you or something…."

Jamie wanted this to continue so it was either say "there's more to this story" and not being able to tell him

would have get all defensive again or she could just play up the parent angle even though neither her Mother or

Father knew any of this. She opened up her purse to take out her lipgloss. It was peachy pink and called

_Forbidden Minx. _

"Mom and Dad were bad…not as bad as other people may have had it, but I survived. Thanks to," Jamie thought

she better be careful here, "some good people I met along the way." That covered everyone in and out of

Wisconsin so it wasn't a total fabrication.

"It's good that you had a support system. I'm sorry, Jamie…maybe, I was wrong about you…"

"Eric, maybe I shouldn't have assumed we were in a relationship…I can understand that you might have found

that Glenn Close-ish in _Fatal Attraction._"

"You mentioned something about my birthday…" He pulled in his driveway. He lived in a brick apartment

complex. It seemed like a nice and quiet neighborhood away from the college part of town.

Jamie smiled, "It's a surprise…"

Eric got out of his car door and went around to open the passenger side. _That's what a man was supposed to_

_do for a lady._

There was hope for Eric Forman yet.


	6. Secrets from the Vanity

**Chapter 6**

**Secrets from the Vanity**

_Flashback at 12_

_They weren't home. It wasn't football season so even the gruff yet tender to those he loved when no one was _

_watching man drove the family in the brown station wagon to church. They always left the back door that lead _

_to the basement open. Making sure the coast was clear the feminine practiced walk up the stairs could begin. Not bad. _

_But not good either. Jamie would try again when she got to the main carpeted stairs. What was the word used _

_on an old black and white movie on the old black and white TV? Sashay. There's a word you couldn't say unless _

_you wanted to be beaten up to a pulp. Lightly holding the railing she tried again. Damn it. Puberty was a bitch and she _

_didn't think anything could be done about it until she stole a bus ticket, skipped school for the day, and went to _

_the library in Chicago to read every book on the subject. They even had periodicals. Resisting the urge to lift  
_

_them, but knowing that wouldn't be fair to someone else in the same position. Finishing the jaunt up the _

_staircase she knew where she wanted to go. First she went to the main bathroom and grabbed a jar of that _

_cold cream stuff and went to the master bedroom locking the door behind her and sitting at the vanity where _

_the magic happened. She saw the plastic pastel blue egg and opened it up. It was a three pack of knee-high _

_nylons. Kicking off the blue and white worn tennis shoes even before she made it to the perfectly made bed. _

_Jamie took her dirty socks off and put on the pantyhose. Going up to the knee made these accessible except on _

_gym days at school, tube socks would cover them up, and she always wore jeans. They felt right and made _

_her calves warm. Knowing that time was not on her side she put her socks over the hosiery and put her sneakers _

_back on. She went back to sit on the vanity to roll up the other two pair and put them back in the egg. Could _

_she get away with stealing a bra? It most likely wouldn't fit and there was nothing to hold it up, but she didn't _

_have the courage to wear one. Maybe, she could "borrow" one of the double A cups in one of the girls gym lockers _

_at school. Her only girl friend had huge boobs for 12 year old, her bra wouldn't fit. Jamie figured it would have to _

_wait, there was a whole array of cosmetics to play with and not get caught like the time she was 4 years old at _

_her Grandmother's house and her Mom had a fucking fit over it! She put her fingers through the goodies and picked _

_up a compact of cream blush and dotted it on her cheeks, woah…too much and not natural looking in the slightest. _

_Of course, the face didn't help. Jamie hated her face most of all…well, actually that wasn't true. The genitalia was_

_ right up there as far as her self-hatred went. She opened up the jar of Pond's and went over the dark raspberry pink _

_blush smear and got rid of it with a tissue.  
_

_Yes, powder blush, much better and a lighter color. It was pretty, all things considered. She _

_did the other cheek. She would have tried the foundation, but this was expensive and she didn't want to _

_experiment with it at this time. Mascara in the pink tube with the green top. Mascara was a guilty pleasure, she _

_had this in her special secret box at home if you didn't curl upwards and that took months to learn and just _

_focused on the color aspect you could get away with wearing this in public. She didn't dare. But sometimes at _

_night she'd put a coat on before going to bed, no one checked up on her, so that and a little clear lip balm was _

_all that she needed for now. Jamie put her chin in her hands and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She _

_wouldn't always look like this. Someday she'd beautiful. She knew perfume was also expensive so she picked the_

_ bottle of Emeraude up and lightly sprayed her wrists. Jamie heard the commotion coming from outside and _

_quietly walked over to the main window. Shit! They were home! All of them. She unlocked the bedroom door _

_and put the bottle of cold cream back on the counter. What was she going to do? She couldn't be seen and _

_especially not like this and she couldn't go outside in public. She did the only thing she could do – since she was _

_still small enough but growing everyday in all the wrong places, with all the wrong body parts much to her dismay, _

_she swiftly came back into the master bedroom and hid under the bed.  
_

_"Red, I'll make you some tea and dry toast."_

_Mr. Forman was sick? He mumbled something and went into the master bathroom._

_Kitty smelled her perfume in the air, "Laurie, did you steal my Emeraude before leaving the house?"  
_

_"No, Mother! I wear Sweet Honesty…" Jamie had to bite her lip from laughing at that one. She was a slut in_

_in the making. There was nothing honest nor sweet about Laurie Forman. She gave girls a bad name._

_Bless Eric for being in the basement probably waiting for all of his friends to stop by to fill the time with newly _

_discovered chemicals, board games, and mindless chit-chat._

_Kitty opened up the plastic egg and realized she had a pair of knee-high's missing. It had to be Laurie! She had _

_her own things she didn't need to go stealing off her own Mother._

_"Red, are you all right in there?" Kitty said to the closed bathroom door._

_"Kitty, don't talk to a man while he's busy…."_

_"I'll make you some chicken noodle soup."_

_That sounded good._

_"Mom, I'm going to Sally's house. See you. Bye!"_

_That was one potential landmine out of the way. With Red in the bathroom either puking or pooping, Jamie _

_didn't care to know which, Kitty in the kitchen creating magic to make her husband feel better, and Eric in the _

_bat-cave. All Jamie had to do was go in the family bathroom, take off the make up, and sneak out of the house._

_But the nylons…they were all hers. _

_End fb_

_

* * *

_  
"Jamie, I said would you like a drink?" Eric asked while Jamie was replaying a certain Sunday afternoon in her

mind.

"No. I'm full from the café. Why don't you sit next to me?"

"I will. After I get out of this monkey suit." He went over to kiss her on the lips.

_That did feel right. _

_God help him...it did feel right.  
_

* * *

Eric returned wearing his casual Friday khaki's, his white button down shirt unbuttoned, the tie off, and his

sleeves rolled up. He wore plain black socks, well they weren't totally plain there were little Yoda's on the top,

but Jamie wouldn't be able to see those. When he returned in the living room she had one of his out-of-the-box

old Kenner Darth Vader action figures in her hand.

"Eric, do you play with dolls?" It wasn't a question she would have asked anyone else, because of who she

was, but with Eric it wasn't an attack on his sexuality or gender, it was just a gentle playfulness to move the

conversation along.

"Action figures…. it's décor."

Jamie laughed, "Is that what you're calling it now?"

"Do you like _Star Wars_?"

"It was a good movie. At least we're in the generation that can say we saw it when it first

came out."

"Yeah, me and my friends," Eric sat next to her on the sofa and put his arm around her, she smelled so good,

like vanilla, cinnamon, and musk. "went to Kenosha to see it. It was an awesome experience."

This was the experience that really mattered. "So do you have any movies that don't contain the words: Stars,

Empires or Jedi's in the title?"

"We could just skip the movie and make out in the sofa." Eric would do his best to try and not think about Jackie

or any personal secrets that Jamie was harboring.

She liked him. He liked her. _The rest would just have to play out. _

She pulled him closer as he reached for his Packers comforter to put over them. Jamie was happy as she could

be under the gravity of it all. _The rest would have to wait._

_

* * *

_**Author's Note: My reviewers are getting closer. This was written in advance on November 1, 2010**_  
_


	7. An Extension of Self

**Chapter 7**

**An Extension of Self**

A B minus on a composition paper was full price paid for getting to smooth things over with one Eric Forman.

Besides it was a passing grade and this was the first and only time that Jamie Reed cared about school. She

wanted to help others like her, there might have been some places out there, but there weren't enough. Not

when you could turn on the nightly news and see someone being beaten to death _for only being who they were._

No. It wasn't enough. That was what made going to school to get her Bachelor's degree so important. Eric

would be coming over to San Diego for his birthday weekend and that's all that mattered. Jamie didn't care if

Jackie knew or didn't. She had a new rep…that fluffy piece of idiocy Sarah Wilcox who thought she was all that

because her Husband owned this manufacturing company that just shipped 500 jobs overseas and selling these

cosmetics was just a hobby for a woman who really didn't need any money. She only liked Jackie because she

was a successful businesswoman who could bring her more clientele. She put her papers in her folder as the

receptionist at the front desk waved her over. It was time for her regular hair appointment and she sold a lot of

cosmetics not to have to pay for the services. Her grant money was about to run out and she was going to have

to get a so-called real job until she could start teaching.

"Hi, Jamie, how are you?" asked RJ who was a great stylist, Jamie didn't care if he was stereotypically flaming

gay, she asked no questions, she was not about to spill her guts out to a hairdresser or bartender, and he

asked no questions it was a perfect match.

"Good…let's get this over with…" This was one beauty treatment that she hated, but for Eric, and most

importantly herself, it was necessary. Beautiful new hair extensions with wavy, loose curls. The curls were more

expensive, but totally worth it.

* * *

Eric felt dreadful not phoning Jackie back. How could he explain Jamie's surprise visit in Madison and that he'd be

spending his 40th birthday with her? In San Diego where Jackie also lived? _Now he was keeping secrets_. He broke

a cinnamon graham cracker on the perforation to dunk it into his plastic R2-D2 and C3-PO tumbler filled with milk.

He would have to tell Jackie that he was in-town after he and Jamie celebrated his birthday. It was the right

thing to do. Maybe, they could sort out their differences and everyone could be friends. Damn, he wanted to find

his romantic soulmate and there seemed to be about a 1,000,000 strings attached to this woman. A very

attractive woman, but mysteries attached nonetheless. Then Eric had an idea as he ate his last piece of graham

cracker. He'd take the day off from work and arrive a day earlier than planned maybe he needed to catch Jamie

by surprise to see just how real things were.

* * *

_**Fb**_

_**Time unspecified**_

_Jamie looked at the pink box on her lap. She felt she didn't deserve any gifts. She was homeless, she worked _

_odd jobs when she could and had a bank account, every single dime was for her new life, nothing to be wasted _

_on a roof over her head and the TV. She found solace in one of the shelters in Milwaukee. She would have _

_enjoyed a hot steamy shower if she wasn't repulsed by the sight of her naked body._

"_Open it…"_

"_I appreciate it…really I do…" she could use her most feminine voice here as well as at least find some comfort in a _

_second hand sale pack of Lee Press-On Nails. _

"_Jamie, you're safe here," said the older female a successful mtf who oversaw Harmony's Haven, "and it's more _

_than fine to open the box."_

"_Thank you, Miss Siegel."_

"_Call me Jennifer. We're not going to let you give up on yourself. It may not be exactly what you wanted, but _

_it'll give you a boost."_

_She smiled, "Thank you," opening the box with a shaky hand she let out a small gasp,_ "_It's pretty."_

_It was a wavy blonde wig. _

"_I'll help you put it on…"_

"_No, Jennifer," Jamie stood up holding the wig, "I can do it. I just need to be alone with my thoughts for a while."_

"_Understood. As long as you remember that you are not alone in your quest."_

"_Understood. I'll try this on and be back."_

_When Jamie excused herself a man came up to Jennifer with a clipboard and a pen. _

"_Jennifer, do you have any other applicants in mind for the Audrey Warner Memorial Be Beautiful Program. Allowing _

_6 trans to have all of their surgeries all expenses paid. Because Audrey Warner was a mtf who came from a very _

_wealthy family and lived in secret until her death vowing in her will to make women beautiful and to provide shelter _

_for them to live while they were transitioning. "Hiding my true self from the wealthy folks enabled me to get my trust _

_funds…I hope it's easier for each and every one of you beautiful ladies. I love you all." She wrote in her will. _

_There's two more slots open and we have until midnight on Tuesday to send all of the information in to the state."_

"_As a matter a fact I do, Dave." _

_Wishing she could help them all, but the program only had funding for 6 participants Jennifer Siegel wrote on the line _

_for #5: Jamie._

_**end fb**  
_

_

* * *

_

Jamie took a silver bow from the package and put it on the nicely wrapped present. She wished that she could

take credit for the beautiful display, but it was Marcia in the gift wrapping department. But she did put the bow

on and wrote in the once secret handwriting that she was now able to use as her own.

_To: Eric. Happy Birthday. Xoxo Jamie. _

There was a soft knock on her door.

_Oh no._

She felt bad that her first thoughts were to not answer the door. But Eric was coming for a visit and Jamie felt

awful that she was thinking of her own needs first. But she opened the door anyway.

"Hi, Monica…"

"Oh, Jamie," she hugged her tight, "I-I…I'm so sorry. _I had nowhere else to turn."_

Then Jamie felt guilty for thinking about not answering the door. "Family kicked you out?"

"They got some new friends that they want to open a business with and I found out their tolerance of me

was a sham…._I'm such a monster._" She started to break down again.

"_Don't EVER_ say that, Sweetie. You need a place to stay?" Jamie had to ask. Sisters came first.

"Y—you're the only one I thought of…."

"Of course, you can stay in the guest room."

"When can I be pretty like you?"

Monica had to stop her treatments and she didn't have any surgery just some hormone therapy.

Jamie held her hands, "_You are pretty_. If I had the money I'd certainly pay for it. I'm in constant contact with

Harmony House and some of the other organizations…insurance companies treats us worse than second class

citizens and charities like Audrey's are few and far between, the rest of the money the house gets is for the

shelter…they haven't been able to help with any more surgeries since the first 6."

Not if they wanted to keep the shelter operational. All of the girls would have given back, but none had the

finances to do so.

Monica needed to change the subject, "Who's the present for? Eric?"

Jamie smiled, "Yeah…he's coming over this weekend."

"Oh – I'm just going to be in the way…"

"No, you won't."

But that wasn't quite true and Jamie hated herself for it. Eric would most certainly have his issues over seeing

Monica in a non-transitional state. But she loved both her trans sister and Eric. Maybe it would be a good test

for him to actually see Monica, to see how he'd react. Because Jamie wasn't about to stop her from dressing as

the woman she was just because her boyfriend would be here for a visit. She just wished that Monica had come

over _the next week though._

"You're a sweetheart…" Monica wished she had a body and face as beautiful as Jamie's.

"No. I'm not," She sighed, holding her friends shaking hands. "_I'm just like you_…a woman trying to make it in

this very unkind world."


	8. Harmony

**Chapter 8**

**Harmony**

**_Fb_**

**_Unspecified time_**

_Why was she so nervous? She hadn't even started hormones yet, surely the good for nothing maleness that was _

_still present would take over? It was starting to happen, the lucky 6 recipients of Audrey Warner's will. Not everything_

_ needed to be about gender, nerves were nerves, which was the only way that she could get through sitting at a table _

_in a boardroom with 5 others. Always one to observe the situation until everyone knew each other, they respected _

_the female form, but all one had to go by was the male view. A woman dressed in a white silk blouse that was three _

_sizes too big and a garish make up attempt pulled at Jamie's heart. _

"_Instead of waiting for the staff to come in, why don't we each introduce ourselves first? I'm Hettie and the reasons I _

_look like this and feel that I have to justify it to my beautiful new sisters is I had to leave an abusive situation. I'll _

_leave it at that. And I know my make up looks like total crap. Thank you." She sat down and poured herself a glass of _

_water from the metal pitcher on the table._

"_I'm Gina," The skinniest of the group said who was Asian-American, "I don't feel very pretty. Not only am I this, but _

_I've been getting treatment for my anorexia…"  
_

_Not standing up, a raven-haired girl with a neon pink wig in a pixie cut in her hand said, "Paulette…and I don't talk _

_to anyone, so just move along." Jamie watched her put her wig back on. _

"_I'm Margo," the African-American woman stayed seated as well, "and I know I'm doing the right thing. I think we all _

_need to get rid of our insecurities it we're going to make it."_

"_You shouldn't judge," said the tallest and heaviest of the group, "I'm Marti and I wear this tutu, because I want to." _

_Jamie had a feeling Marti's journey wasn't going to yield a happy result. She had seen that type before. _

_Great. What was she was supposed to say? Jamie hated most people, but couldn't hate these girls, even ones with _

_the meanest dispositions. She stood up proudly wearing her blonde wig gift from Jennifer, even though it was the _

_wrong color. "I'm Jamie…and let's just remember, why we're all here…. to be the women on the outside, that we are _

_on the inside."_

"_Jamie's right," Hettie said, "Do you think they purposely left us alone so we could talk?"_

_Jamie nodded and looked at the schedule taped to her folder. _

_**Introductions – Staff & Participants**_

_**Rooming Assignments**_

_**Lunch/Free time**_

_**Meeting successes: Jayne – An advertising executive from Tampa, Florida **_

_**Break**_

_**Meeting Dr. Janson and Dr. Peters (all of your surgical questions answered)**_

_**Dinner/Free time**_

_**Electives: How to handle finances; Voice training, make-up/fashion lessons, cursive writing, choosing **_

_**your new name, all the legal issues, and movement**_

_**The playroom – to find closure for that inner child in you that was denied**_

_**Snack/ Free time**_

_**Lights Out**_

"_I see that you've all gotten to know each a bit. I'm Sandy," Her long red hair was in a bouncy ponytail, "and I just _

_want to say that I'm proud of each and every one of you ladies for taking the steps to a brand new life. Let me tell you _

_about myself. I didn't face who I really was until I was 25 years into a marriage to a woman I couldn't stand and the _

_guilt of wanting to wait for my children to be over 18. Each year was more painful than the next and I tried suicide at _

_least 3 times. My wife was not supportive of me and filed for divorce, 1 child talks to me, the other doesn't. What _

_keeps me getting up everyday is working with the trans community and when I received the offer to be a _

_housemother at Harmony House, I was thrilled. There will be people who will want to meet you, all with the  
_

_best intent, but Audrey Warner was a smart lady, she knew the pain and never got to experience any of the pleasure._

_ No outsiders are allowed in here except for those that she approved of in her will. All of the doctors are trans people. _

_That's not always an option, but it's wonderful to know that, they know exactly what you're going through. Does _

_anyone have any questions that wasn't detailed in your paperwork?"_

_Jamie had nothing to say. It had to be all right. It just had to. She missed certain people back home in Point Place. _

_People that she couldn't confide in even though she wanted to. The sneaking around, the experimenting, the shame. _

_No one back home would even begin to understand. She missed her Eric. Okay, he wasn't actually 'her Eric', but what _

_she wouldn't give for those arms around her. She must have had a smile on her face because Sandy asked her to _

_share. Share. Yuck. But it wouldn't be fair to rebel here besides that seemed to be Margo's job. _

"_I was just thinking of the man I love," it didn't feel weird to say that, which surprised Jamie, "he'd physically be the _

_stronger one…it's kind of an inside thing…but that makes me smile."_

_Sandy put her hands on Jamie's shoulders. "There's nothing wrong with that. Let's get to know each other more, _

_shall we?" _

_**Rooming Assignments**_

_Hettie was happy she got to room with Jamie. Marti seemed to be too needy, Margo too rough, Gina with too much _

_baggage, and Paulette too creepy. She put her small white suitcase on the floor. "What bed would you like, Jamie?"_

"_Doesn't matter to me…I'm just tired…and we have lunch in an hour…it feels like school."_

"_It is in a way, Sweetie. You can just lay on top of your bed. If I unpacked would I disturb you?"_

"_No."_

_Jamie chose the bed by the window and propped the pillows up so she could lay on top of the bed. All of her belongings_

_ in one sturdy duffle bag. It wasn't pink or frilly. It was just a standard Army issue duffle. Hettie had naturally long _

_dark brown hair she wore it in a ponytail tied with an elastic band. She opened up the dresser drawer and found  
_

_a long rectangular shaped box. "Jamie…."_

_She didn't want to be rude, but all she wanted to do was get 5 minutes of sleep. "What is it?"  
_

"_There's a surprise for us in our dressers," She opened up the brown box, "They're breast forms…"_

_That made Jamie rise to attention to check her dresser. There was an enclosed note from the Harmony House Staff _

_welcoming them and they would find the things they needed for their trip into sisterhood. "I would've have killed for _

_these when I was 12."_

"_Better late than never….it seems that there's only one communal type of bathroom, except for Sandy's private one…I _

_definitely want to test drive these before lunch."_

_Sitting on the bed Jamie spoke, "We're all women…the surgery is just to fix what's on the outside by mistake," Jamie _

_took off her plain black t-shirt, it wasn't a woman's tee, but a homeless person couldn't be picky. She had only one _

_white bra; she undid the straps to let the bra fall on her lap. She was lost to the world feeling the form in her hand, _

_it wasn't going to be a big change but it was an important baby step. Undoing the adhesive she gently cupped one _

_over each breast and put her bra back on. Putting her hands over her undergarment she smiled and reached for the _

_t-shirt. "It's a start." She said when she looked in the mirror. _

"_You look great…" Hettie said_

"_So do you…."_

_Jamie heard an argument brewing down the hall and wondering if she should get involved? Just like always, it seemed_

_ like it was going to fall on her shoulders to be the unofficial leader of the group. Marti was standing in the middle of _

_the hallway ready to sob and this was pre-hormone therapy. Jamie couldn't even imagine how she'd be during that _

_time. Margo had the box of forms above her head. Even though Marti was taller and bigger, she was like a child trying _

_to jump up and grab them.  
_

"_What's going on? I'm trying to take a nap." Jamie said_

"_This isn't your business, Jamie." Margo replied. _

_Hettie watched from the doorway and admired Jamie's leadership qualities. Gina opened her door to check out the _

_noise, Paulette was a buzzkill in their room. _

"_Margo, won't give me what's mine!" _

"_Come on, Margo. I can already tell that you're going to be quite the pain in the ass. We were each assigned a box of _

_forms, so there is no reason for you to have hers." Jamie didn't back down. _

_"She was rude to me so I took them off her…"_

"_We're supposed to help each other…give them to her or you'll have to deal with me." Jamie got in her face. She was _

_used to schoolyard bully types. _

"_What's going on?" asked housemother Sandy coming into view_

"_Nothing, Sandy. Here, you big baby." Margo threw the box on the floor while giving Jamie the evil death stare. _

"_Thank you, Jamie." Marti said in a soft voice_

"_It's okay. If she gives you any more trouble, just see me." She gave her new friend a small hug. _

"_You're just going to let Margo get away with that?" Hettie asked Sandy, Gina went back to her room she didn't need _

_anyone else's drama. _

"_Don't worry about Margo." Sandy replied before walking away. _

"_Um, Jamie," Marti whispered in her ear, "Will you help me?"_

"_Of course, Sweetie. Why don't you come in me and Hettie's room?"_

_Jamie wished she'd lose the tutu it had to be a leftover scar from childhood. But right now it was Marti's security _

_blanket so she wouldn't try to force the issue. _

"_Are you wearing a bra?" Hettie asked_

"_Yeah…Margo's mean. She told me I didn't need the forms because of my weight that I already had breasts."_

"_We'll fix you up for lunch. Would you like that?" Jamie asked_

_Marti nodded in the affirmative.  
_

"_It'll be okay. Just ignore Margo…underneath all that bravado she's just as insecure as the rest of us." Jamie sighed. _

_It was going to be a long strange trip in Harmony House. All Jamie wanted was to be comfortable in her own skin._

_She wanted all of her new sisters to be comfortable in their own as well.  
_

_**End fb**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed meeting the ladies of Harmony House. There will be more in upcoming **_

_**chapters. **__**  
**_


	9. Y

**Chapter 9**

**Y*  
**

Eric hated absolutely hated not telling Jackie about his plans on coming to San Diego. He worked hard for that

friendship. Actually they both worked at it. She was the only one he had contact with from his past and to see

the both of them grow as adults was something that he treasured. She wasn't some stuck up little Princess

Daddy's girl who had to everything when she wanted it and he wasn't some spineless wimp afraid of his own

shadow. Granted he was still a geek, but that was a good thing. Geeks were genuine. He understood that

Jamie had a painful past, but if she could just open up to him…_why was it so complicated_? He was given his keys

to another boring sedan rental at SAN. He wanted to see Jamie, but if she couldn't share things with him what

was the point of going further? They weren't able to spend much time together, but still…if it felt like she was

_the one…_the label that was supposed to belong to one Donna Pinciotti. Maybe, he just liked _the idea _of a woman

like Jamie Reed.

* * *

The silver wind chime style dangled clip-on earrings were taken out of her ears in frustration as she slammed

her fist on the vanity table.

"Monica, they looked good on you. I know more about cosmetics, jewelry, and style than some of the natal

women I grew up with." That wasn't entirely true, but Monica needed a little bit of reassurance.

"I'm more pissed off at my aggression at the moment."

"Honey, anger can belong to any gender, it just manifests itself in different ways. But, once…"

"I think I have to be one of those people who prefer…"

"You don't have to be anything,_ but yourself…_. Come on, let's have lunch."

"You're going to cook?"

"No. I didn't say I was going to make lunch, I said let's have lunch. Monica, I've told you before we grew up in a

strange – transitional – pun intended time. We don't have to be June Cleaver's vacuuming with pearls on; _we _

_can do whatever the fuck we want to do._ And right now, I could go for a pizza. My treat…"

"I can't wear these earrings in public…"

"You don't have to…"

"What do you think of unisex perfume?"

"Hate it. But if that's something you like – you can have my old sample bottle of_ Merge."_ That was Casablanca

Cosmetics attempt at a CK1 rip off. "Believe it or not, there really are no rules….I'll tell you a story where I

thought I almost was going to get kicked out of Harmony House…"

"Is this where you told off the shrink or the time you thought toy trucks and cars should also be in the

playroom?"

"Yeah…see you are paying attention, Sweetie. Well, the shrink made me angry and if daycares are supposed to

have toys available for all – and keep their mouth shut if a toddler boy grabs a doll or if a girl grabs a truck –

then that playroom was too cliché for modern times….the point for me isn't to be exclusive, it's too be equal. Men

and women are different, but the same. And also to dress a hell of a lot better than natal males."

Monica took the top off the square bottle of perfume, "Ick. No thanks, Jamie…."

"I have something you might like," Jamie opened the drawer and took out the small vintage bottle of Emeraude.

"There's a story here, but you might like this. It takes me back to a time when I had to pretend who I was, was

in a constant struggle, every little small thing like wearing knee-high stockings was like a HUGE victory…and this

reminds me of a woman that I miss very much."

At that moment the doorbell rang.

"Finish getting ready, I'll get rid of whoever it is, and then we'll go out for pizza."

"Thank you for everything, Jamie, you're a great friend…" Monica gave her a hug.

* * *

Why did everyone have such awful timing? But Jamie loved that smile and that hot geeky body of 1 Eric Forman.

Why was he here a day early? Did it matter?

Jamie opened the door and wrapped herself up in Eric's arms. "I missed you…."

She smelled so good like vanilla mixed with roses. He didn't have time to respond as kissing took precedence

over conversation. Eric didn't mind Jamie's tongue in his mouth…_what this woman could do to him like no other _

_before her!_

"Hmm. That was some greeting, m'lady."

"Come in, Eric," Jamie held his one hand, "I thought your flight arrived tomorrow?"

"I just wanted to surprise you."

Monica didn't want to ruin things for Jamie and her beau so she put on a headscarf, chunky Jackie O type

sunglasses, and wrapped herself up in a silver trench that Jamie had in the back of her closet. It was a little

small, but she had to pass, she couldn't ruin things for Jamie. She was one of the sweetest most supportive

woman she knew in the trans community.

Jamie knew what she was doing as Eric saw Monica in the living room.

"Eric, this is my friend, Monica."

"Hi."

She clutched at her throat and whispered her softest voice, "S—ore."

"Eric, make yourself at home. Monica, you forgot that purse you wanted to borrow…come with me."

Eric shrugged his shoulders and flipped on the TV.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to ruin things for you and Eric….I'll just pretend to leave…I'll go out for something to eat…I'll stay in

my room…no arguments, Jamie. _This is your time._ You deserve it."

"Okay….I don't like any of this," Jamie took the black signature logo Dooney and Bourke satchel style bag out of

her closet, "Consider this yours, Sweetie." Jamie kissed her on the cheek.

Eric looked up from _Bewitched _to see Monica waving goodbye to him and Jamie walking her out of the apartment.

"Bye, Monica. She said she wished she could actually talk to you, but her throat is killing her…." _She didn't_

_want to lie to him. _

"No problem…" Jamie sat next to Eric on the white sectional sofa. "I'm glad that you came early…"

He put his arm around her, "Me too. Did you want to grab a bite to eat or just stay in?"

She smiled. "Why don't I go to the store and make us dinner?" Shit…she was being a hypocrite. She just got

done explaining to Monica that they had options unlike their sisters before them and now she was going to be

Donna Reed in the kitchen. She was Jamie Reed and she wasn't one for cooking. The microwave was the best

invention ever when she couldn't afford to go out. Yet, that bit of drivel came out of her mouth, but it was his

birthday celebration and if her and Eric were a couple, she'd rather be the one to do the cooking, because she

saw his attempts at it and they weren't very good. He was like his father in that regard.

"Better yet, I can go to the store and buy two of those pre-made dinners…."

"You don't have to go through any special trouble for me…" But now that Monica was gone, and Jamie would be

leaving…Eric would be alone in the house and snooping for presents he wasn't.

"Nonsense. It's going to be your 40th birthday…."

"Don't remind me….I feel so old."

"I'll be back in a jif. Miss me?" She put her hands on his shoulders and pulled him closer for another kiss.

"I will."

She put on her gray sweater coat, grabbed her purse, and waved goodbye to her boyfriend. This could be one

of the best weekends that she's ever had. Eric Forman, the love of her life, would be home waiting for her when

she returned home from the market.

It almost had a '50s sitcom vibe to it, but neither June nor Donna drove a fast bubble gum pink Trans-Am.

It was all about having choices.

* * *

Eric decided to turn off the television and go into Jamie's bedroom. It was white with striped floral wallpaper.

Her room was so neat and tidy it made his look like a pigs sty.

She had a vintage Barbie lamp on her end table and a small bottle of KY was next to the phone. There was a

personal small pink phone directory that said _Sisters Rule_ embossed on it in black. She wouldn't keep the big

secrets out in the open, they'd be hidden, he walked over to the sliding closet and opened the doors. There

were boxes with _Wigs for Harmony_ written on them in black Sharpie marker stacked up. He looked up on the

shelf and saw a small tan colored lock box. This would contain the answers to Jamie more than wondering why

she had boxes of wigs ready to go in her closet or a Sisters Rule phone directory.

He sat on the bed with the pink comforter with a blue floral pattern and he didn't know why he just tried to

open the box, of course, it would be locked. Where would the key be?

Determined he ran to the kitchen find a steak knife and then he could find out exactly what Jamie Reed was

hiding.

The lid popped open and he saw a small manila envelope and typed on it with old IBM Selectric Type

_Point Place General Hospital_

_Point Place, Wisconsin._

_Birth Certificate:_

"What!" He stood up and then he felt he was going to faint or throw up. "No…." he put that on the bed and saw

the social security card, learner's permit, 1 driver's license…along with 4 accessory items that he was all too

familiar with.

"No….no….

_He couldn't view the rest…he couldn't…what…in…..the….fucking….Hell…._

Eric looked up to see Jamie in her doorway, her arms crossed, waiting for him to speak. She could stand here all

day, the ball was in his court and by the disappointed look in his green eyes, she knew the bigotry all too much,

and it was going to come out of the mouth of this sweet man who couldn't even shoot a deer during hunting

season.

"I—I—I don't know the sick game that you are playing….but…."

"I'm not playing any games, Eric," Should she? She was already hanging from the limb, _"I love you…."_

But of course he'd be a jerk.

"You're a FREAK!" Of course, he'd say that. This wasn't new, and she wasn't the only one to have to hear these

cruel remarks from those that mattered most.

"No, I'm not. _I'm a woman. A transgendered woman. _We can talk…but I won't have you saying things that aren't

true, because your ego can't handle it."

"The guy I knew in Point Place never would have…. THIS!" he replied flustered with his arms spread out.

"That guy you knew in Point Place was a fucking phony! _That wasn't me! _I've known about my true self since I

was 4 years old!"

"That's ludicrous!"

"Eric, please…you have no idea what being transgendered is like. None."

"You made your choices…"

"This was a choice? _I had no choice_!"

"Why would you mutilate your body like this…. you were born a man…."

"I DID NOT mutilate my body…"

"You weren't born like this! Unless this is all fake…." He walked closer.

"You touch me and I will knee you in the groin so fast your head will spin."

"I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole, S – "

"No! Don't you dare call me by that name…"

"You don't have to worry about me calling you anything! You are scum! You are a disgrace! A sick excuse for a

human being! I want nothing do with you! You fucking, you want to be a female, you fucking cunt. You're lucky I

don't tell Red and Kitty about this…but I would never hurt them the way you have. Don't you ever contact me

ever again…" Eric stormed out of the house as Jamie let the tears flow and body slink to the floor.

"Jamie…" Monica came in the room, she heard half of it, "Oh, honey…._let me help you for a change…_sit up…you can

cry in my shoulder….let him go. He's not worth it."

Jamie's mascara was running down her face….they didn't even get to celebrate his birthday. All of the shame

came back to the surface. "He—Er—ic was worth it to me…."

She painfully sighed and put her head on Monica's shoulder as she cried her eyes out. Monica thought how

could this Eric Forman not love Jamie? She was beautiful, smart, witty, and drove a cool car. She was just

wonderful. How could that man break her heart?

* * *

Eric thought he was going to be pulled over by the police for driving so fast. He had to get out of here as quickly

as possible. What in God's fucking name just happened? He didn't buy this transgender bullshit. That genetically

modified woman was born a man, his best friend since like forever, and all of this time she was a woman

trapped in a man's body? Sorry. He DIDN'T fucking buy it.

"_FUCK!"_ Eric exclaimed to himself as he harshly turned the car around not hearing the horns or catcalls of the

other drivers. He had to go back there. His he left his wallet behind. He had taken it out out of his pants pocket

to get more comfortable on he/she/ITS sofa.

* * *

"Are you feeling better, Jamie?" Monica asked, at least she got her to drink some hot tea with lemon.

"I'll be all right," She held Monica's hand at the kitchen table, "I have my sister's."

There was a harsh knock on the door and Jamie knew exactly who it was.

"Don't get it…"

"No, I'm done running away…_this is my turf._" She said defiantly.

Eric had to speak first, "Don't get your _panties_ in a twist, I just left my wallet on your coffee table…"

"Go get it and get out of my house!" Eric grabbed his wallet off the coffee table and put it in his back pants

pocket.

He looked up to see Monica in the kitchen doorway – and what he saw repulsed him. "I can see you wasted no

time…with this – not back from the queer factory - she/man…"

Jamie was pissed off and slapped Eric hard across the face.

"I'm not dignifying your ignorance any longer…."

She pushed him and Eric laughed in her face, "Is that the best you can do?"

Feeling pushed against the wall versus the one person who wasn't supposed to hurt her like this Jamie kneed

him in the family jewels "You don't talk about my friends that way… fuck you, Eric."

"Y—ou…..b-i-tch….," He tried to regain his composure, but those designer red heels dug in pretty good,

"g—goodbye, freaky monstrosity of nature..._Steven Hyde_." Eric stumbled back to his rental car and drove off.

"Jamie, are you okay?" Monica never heard Jamie's birth name before.

"Fine," _What if he told everyone he knew?_ "Yeah, I'm fine." But the tears came once more.

"You sure?"

Jamie held Monica's hand, "I'm okay as long as I don't talk about it I'll be just fine. Why don't you find a movie

and we'll watch it? Want some ice-cream?" She could eat the whole carton herself.

"Only if you're having some…"

Jamie didn't hear anything anymore except for the sharp pains of her heart literally breaking.

Eric Forman…. fuck…. as John Lennon once sang, _The Dream Was Over._

_

* * *

**Author's Note: Y* **_**_( chromosome)_**


	10. Girl Power

**Chapter 10**

**Girl Power**

Jamie couldn't sleep and was surprised that she even tried. She just couldn't deal with Monica's smothering, but

well-meaning intentions to the supportive friend. She kicked off her pink fleece blanket and went to the

damaged box…who told the dill hole to go through her stuff? She hated when people went through her private

things. It was put off to the side by the closet, because she had to get the lock fixed thanks to that jerk. She

bent down to grab the manila envelope and her first driver's license and put it in her tote. She needed to go

somewhere and she didn't care what time it was on the clock. 10:00? It was earlier than she thought. She felt

so ugly that she could bear to look at her reflection in her own mirror. Years of gained self-worth flushed down

the toilet because of the repulsive words that came out of Eric's mouth. This couldn't wait. She put on her white

Keds with the purple laces and was just going to throw her gray sweater coat over her pink-v neck sleeping

shirt and pj pants with the tiny red hearts on them. She should've done this sooner, not for that asshole, but for

herself. She didn't want to face Monica's questions so she grabbed her black tote bag from the floor, grabbed

her car keys, and walked out of the apartment without making a sound.

* * *

Jackie was doing what she had to do instead of being in a hot bubble bath and wondering why the guy at the

grocery store made eyes at her, but never asked her out? It was her typing with a slow hen peck style because

she hated computers to make an Excel spread sheet to issue the paychecks for the week. There was a slight

commotion outside and Jamie barging in her office with the night hostess behind her.

"Ms. Burkhart, I tried to…."

"Go back to your station, Ellie. Um, Jamie, do you have an explanation as to why you are in my private office?"

Jamie closed the door, "Okay…where the fuck is he? I'm sure you had tea and cookies

degrading me and my friends behind my back…." Jamie opened the door to Jackie's private bathroom and her

closet.

"What in the Hell do you think you are doing and what are you talking about?"

"Like you don't know, Jackie!"

"Uh…no, I don't know…"

"Fucking spare me!" She took the manila envelope out of her tote bag and threw it on her desk, "_He was here_…"

"Who? Are you talking about Eric? I haven't seen him since the last time he was here. And I think he's better off

without you…. you're a stalker."

"Yes, I am a stalker." Jamie retorted back with sarcasm watching Jackie open the envelope. The one-minute that

seemed like 5000 days as Jackie read the documentation in front of her and then looking back up at Jamie in

disbelief.

"What in the world?" She ran her fingers through her long hair, "I—I…I think I'm going to be sick…."

"That's the reaction that I was hoping for." Jamie replied deadpan as Jackie sped by her to close the door, which

didn't do a damn thing, she still heard the gutful wrenching of her puking because she found out the truth

regarding Jamie's birth identity.

"I—I'm sorry," Jackie emerged wiping her mouth with a paper towel and looking for the peppermint Altoids in her

desk drawer, "I didn't-oh fuck…._this explains so much_."

"You and Forman both want tidy little boxes to put me in and you don't think of the pain I went through…still go

through!"

Jackie offered Jamie a mint from the tin box. She shook her head no.

"I have many questions…. but I don't hate you…. I'm glad to know that you're alive…a little pissed off that all this

time you were my cosmetics rep and you never told me…."

Jackie went in for a hug and naturally Jamie pushed her away.

"No. You don't get to do that – done playing martyr?"

"Putting up your walls…. too bad there wasn't an operation for that."

"There is. It's called a lobotomy." She joked.

Jackie laughed. "Is it okay to laugh…Jamie?"

"Of course it is."

She didn't go there…. Jackie didn't go down that road that Jamie was certain Jackie would have. She sat on the

couch.

"Have you eaten today?"

"Not much."

"How about we share some cake and coffee?"

She was reaching out. It was nice gesture and Jamie didn't want her walls to return, because what if she ever

turned on her sisters? She was 40 years old, it was time to start acting like it in terms of emotions and letting

people have their freak-outs. Except for Eric. _She never wanted to see that jerkwad again._

"What kind of cake?"

"The special today was chocolate with marshmallow frosting."

"Are you tempting me with cake?"

"Is it working?"

"A little bit." She missed her friendship with Jackie maybe they could have a real one after all.

"Good and you know…." Jackie smiled, "You're getting a hug anyway. I'm still confused…have many questions,

but hate you? Never."

Jamie smiled, "You don't know how much that means to me, Jackie."

* * *

"Oh, shit. Are you going to cry?" Jamie reached to get the tissues off Jackie's desk.

"I can't bear to hear anymore…. how awful for you."

She finished her piece of cake and put the fork on the dessert plate as she wiped her eyes. Jamie didn't even

get that far along in her story before Jackie let her waterworks flow.

"I hope you don't feel guilty…because you didn't know."

"But as your former girlfriend…I should've pieced it together…."

"That I'm transgender? There was nothing for you to piece." Jamie drank her coffee.

"Can I say something fluffy?"

"You can say whatever you'd like."

"The doctor's did a fantastic job, because I never would have guessed in a million years…_do you still have a_…?"

"Thank you. And Eww…while there are some people that elect to never have surgery or to never go on

hormones, I can tell you with pleasure that the albatross is gone." Well not so much gone as used to create

what they used to call "lady parts" back home.

"I miss that albatross." It felt so good to talk all of this out with Jamie. Everything and her actions with Eric was

like the ultimate jigsaw puzzle being put together.

"Well, you're entitled."

"So you love Eric?"

"No. _Loved Eric_. He said some nasty and mean things to me and my friend who is staying at my house because

she had nowhere else to turn."

"Are you gay?"

"No. That has nothing to do with it_. I'm a woman who loves men_. Yes, there are some trans people who are gay

on top of this. _We're only human._"

"Do you think my questions are stupid?"

"No. I wish everyone would ask questions, open up a dialogue, and make it easier for everyone involved." Jamie

held Jackie's hand.

"Give Eric some time…I bet he didn't mean it. _You know how he is."_

"Don't call him or do any matchmaking crap."

Jackie looked into Jamie's blue eyes and knew if she did call Eric, Jamie would see it as a betrayal and she loved

being friends with her.

"I promise, honest. Why are your eyes bluer?"

"Contacts. I'm near sighted – and I figured why get clear contacts when tinted are so much nicer…?"

"Well, they look stunning. Are we friends?"

"If you want to be…"

"I do want to be. I've missed you so much…. maybe, we can cruise for guys together…there's this guy at the

store…."

"I missed you too, Jackie…. when I found out that you were in San Diego, I couldn't stop living my life just

because you were here. I debated telling you then, but I couldn't risk anything…so – maybe, I misjudged you."

"When I first came here I hated your guts."

"Deserved."

"Oh, S…oops, sorry. I mean, Jamie. What are you going to do now that Eric…."

"The same that I have always done…go to school to get my degree sell insane amounts of cosmetics, and forget

that I even put my heart on the line for one undeserving son of – -can't say that last part. It's not true…. _he's _

_just undeserving. The fucking jerk…_"

"It will get better…you know what? I have these same jammies. Except instead of hearts, I have the ones

with…"

"The little unicorns and rainbows."

"How did you know?"

"Because," Jamie tried to smile in spite of her heartbreak, at least she was able to be friends with Jackie. It was

a good turn of events and made her feel a tiny bit more at ease, _"I know you."_


	11. Bankrupt

**Chapter 11**

**Bankrupt**

Eric was relieved that he was alone in his rental car driving back to the airport a few notches above the legal

limit because his eyes started to water and he couldn't hold back the tears if he tried. _**What in the fuck? **_ He

turned the radio off, the songs from his youth reminding him of the biggest betrayal that there ever was. Who

cared about Aerosmith, Led Zeppelin, or Jethro Tull? Eric didn't know what to do other than get the fuck out of

here and he didn't know where his mind was other than the _horrible, freaky nature of his former best friend, who _

_was now a woman, and supposedly in love with him?_ He wanted to punch a hole in every wall as he kissed and

fondled every_ Playboy_ centerfold. Eric thought that this day could not get any worse when he not in his own car

accidentally sideswiped another vehicle. Horns beeped and he could hear the cursing. The other driver was a

woman. How typical. _Not one of them knew how to drive. _He grabbed all of the documentation from the glove

compartment and thankfully he had his wallet with his info and prayed for the best. After all he always made

sure he had purchased insurance on rental cars when he needed one.

"I'm sorry…" Eric was in no mood to fight with this lady. None what's-so-ever as he walked over to her to make

sure she was all right.

"How could you miss your damn exit?"

Truer words had never been spoken. The exit that would have led him back to the airport and on an airplane

back to Wisconsin away from all of this bullshit. Now he had to deal with the police, the insurance company, and

the rental car company. If it wasn't before, it sure the Hell was now, _this was definitely the worst day ever._

* * *

Jamie sat her desk the with a blank Word document in front of her. Thankfully, Monica was still asleep and didn't

know of her trip to Jackie's just an hour before. What a prick. Eric Forman was a Grade A asshole. He was

spoiled, entitled, and needed more literal kicks in the ass from Red than the proverbial kind. Eric didn't know

what real suffering was like. There were times when Jamie had to put her gender issues 'on hold' just to focus

on the basic hierarchy needs, the bottom of Maslow's pyramid. Eric didn't know what it was like to go to bed

without any food or the abuse/neglect from his parents. Red and Kitty were damn good people there was no

reason for Laurie to be such a fucking slut and for Eric to be such a dink. They didn't realize how well that they

had it. Once when Edna berated Jamie for not doing something or other and having empty sex with one of her

meaningless faux Uncles, she would lock herself in her room and experiment with one phony silk scarf from

Halverson's that Edna herself shoplifted, but didn't get caught for that crime. Why should she have a green

rayon silk-like scarf? Jamie learned how to tie a perfect neckerchief that would have certainly rivaled Jackie

Burkhart's attempts if she could've gone in public like that. But at night time that scarf and clear coat of lip balm

was her only outlet to being the true female on the outside that was so clearly prevalent on the inside and Eric

Forman was miffed because he couldn't have an extra helping from the already large first serving of mashed

potatoes at dinner?

_What a fucking spoiled and entitled jerk._

Jamie started to type: _Dignity Lost: When you are Forced Out_

_By: Jamie K. Reed_

* * *

Jackie was at home in her apartment not able to stop the tears as she sat in a tepid bubble bath. She could

finally grieve for the loss of _her Steven _while accepting the new friendship of "_her Jamie"_. No wonder she always

felt weak in the knees whenever Jamie would call her by her name, sure the pitch and tone were different, but it

was all Steven – err—cross that she thought – _all Jamie._ It was all instinct, which was probably why Eric was

drawn to her, if only one could've stayed true in their gut feelings. Jackie would keep her promise to Jamie. She

wouldn't get involved, no secret messages or trips to Wisconsin to see Eric to play Queen Matchmaker. She was

certain one day they would have their talk about what was found out, but she'd offer a small token and that

was it. Eric was going to regret breaking her heart. Too bad Jamie wasn't a lesbian. Jackie would have been

open to try a relationship under those circumstances. _But Jamie didn't want women. She wanted men._ Eric was

such an idiot, even more so than her former first love, Michael Kelso. Eric should have known better. Of course,

it'd be a shock finding out that your best friend who was missing for decades was hiding their secret of being

transgendered and was complete with their SRS, but a true friend, _wouldn't have been as cruel and emotionally _

_bankrupt as Eric. _

Jamie went through a lot and Eric just knowing what she went through in the Steven Hyde body should have

had a Hell of a lot more compassion for her. Jamie said over the chocolate marshmallow cake that she kicked

Eric in the place that no man liked to be kicked in. He said horrible things to Jamie and her friend Monica that

probably would never be able to be taken back for what? Because he felt that his manhood was threatened. _He _

_didn't respect_ Donna's point-of-view over that whole Promise Ring fiasco and _he didn't respect _Jamie's either. He

almost deserved to be alone. Jackie was grateful that Eric was not attempting to phone her at the

moment, because she wouldn't be able to take "Eric's side" as she knew that Eric would think was a guaranteed

and automatic loyalty from her end. No. Like trust, you had to earn it _and once again, Eric Forman blew it because _

_things didn't go his way.  
_

* * *

Article in a nationwide mtf transgender newsletter:

_Boobs & Burdens_

_-Donna Pinciotti_

_**Q. Are you offended by my idea for the title of this piece?  
**_

_A. (laughs slightly) No. I know you're trying to make a point with humor...it's all good.  
_

**That's how my interview started with "Lily" an mtf trangender woman started….**

_**Q. Instead of people reading my ramblings, I think the reader's who would like to know what is on your **_

_**mind?**_

_A. At the moment? Equality…I don't want to say that the trans struggle is more difficult than being gay and some _

_people go through both issues…but, I just wish there was a world where kids and teens who know that they _

_were born in the wrong body, that there would be support and you could come out and not have to worry about _

_being in a body bag because of it. Which also is a reason why so many non-trans homosexual people are also _

_afraid to come out. I'd like to see equality. But, that's never going to happen. There are people that think both _

_of these things are a choice. A choice? A choice to lose family members and friends? A choice to be bullied _

_everyday? A choice where suicide seems like the only way to ease the pain? Well, I made my choice to keep these _

_secrets. I lied to people. I strung others along, I enjoyed seeing my friends suffer because I was suffering. I would _

_tell young people that if your safety is at risk in any way, do not come out. There's organizations to help you which _

_are located in back pages of this newsletter. It's not about lipstick or high heels or some fluffy thing that the _

_mainstream media uses in its half-assed reporting and not realizing what the real issues facing a trans person, _

_whether they be ftm or mtf, are._

_We just want to be accepted like everyone else._


End file.
